Fatman & Ronon
by The Watch Stander
Summary: McKay's eating habits catch up to him and the team has to step in. Humor with all the team. Chapter Four - Mckay can always use a little help from a friend
1. Chapter 1

Fatman & Ronon

The Watch Stander

Rating: G -Painful humor for McKay! Remember that funny story I promised?

Disclaimer: SONY & MGM own Atlantis and all of it's characters. The wonderful interpretation of these characters is owned by the cast of Atlantis. The fun of writing this story about these characters is owned by me and is in no way intended to infringe on any of these rights and is done without payment or profit on my part.

**AN**: Ever since I saw TAO of Rodney I've wanted to write a series of funny stories about Ronon and McKay. This is team related, but others could focus on just them? Love to hear what everyone thinks about this story and that idea.

Hope you all like this and by the way, this is in no means a slight to David H. He's amazing in the fact he has so much going on and still manages to stay physically fit and healthy.

Thanks to all who review, you guys are great and keep the fingers typing out stories!

Bated by my best friend TW!

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Rodney sighed impatiently as he sat on the examination table in the infirmary, waiting for Carson to tell him his fate.

The Doctor was standing next to him, looking at the results of the tests he had run on McKay. He didn't look pleased.

"This is not, good, not good at all," he mumbled, but even Rodney could hear him.

"Carson," if we're done, I 'd like to leave before I faint from hunger. I haven't eaten since last night, remember?" He was more than ready to go and his stomach was growling, reminding him that it needed to be fed.

"Just a minute, I need to check one more thing," Carson barely looked at him as he made his way back to his office.

Rodney, was annoyed, he hated physicals, but knew that the necessity for having one was only because he went off world with Sheppard and his team. If he stayed in the lab he wouldn't have to do this every four months.

So, he subjected himself to them, knowing if he didn't, Carson and Weir would pull the plug on his going off world. Nobody wanted an unhealthy team member that might put them in danger. It was bad enough that he had health issues like allergies and hypoglycemia for them to deal with.

Carson came back with two charts in his hands. Shaking his head, he looked at Rodney.

"What?" Rodney finally said, getting really annoyed with Carson's behavior and his not telling him anything.

Beckett sighed, knowing this was not going to be fun. "Well, Rodney, you put on another ten pounds since coming back from our short stay on Earth and your assignment to area 51. Your blood pressure is higher and your cholesterol intolerable. What were you eating there?"

Rodney looked surprised, then embarrassed, but he wasn't about to lie

" Well, I didn't have time to cook at night, so I ate out a lot. It's not like they have gourmet restaurants near area 51 or healthy food takeouts. There were lots of nights I worked late and besides, I was depressed," he practically whispered the last part.

Carson didn't look happy, "You have the eating habits of a five-year-old! How many times must I tell you to keep away from prepackaged food and restaurant food! It's gonna kill you with all the salt it has in it! And fast food is out of the question!"

Rodney looked at his feet, he knew he was getting heavy by the way his clothes fit and his face now looked puffy and full. He was beginning to look older than his years because of the weight gain.

"It was just hard to find food that I could eat and I hate to cook for just me."

Carson shook his head, "I'll have to tell Elizabeth, so you'd better start on a diet today!"

"Can't you just give me a pill?", Rodney pleaded.

"No! Someone your age shouldn't be on drugs. If you were older, I might, but this can be controlled by weight loss and exercise." Carson sighed heavily, drugs were a last resort, he never used them unless it was absolutely necessary.

"All right, I hear you. Diet and exercise. I 'm beginning to feel dizzy, I think I need to eat!"

Carson had to smile at that remark, Rodney was a piece of work when it came to food. The man was always eating it seemed.

"Aye, you'd better be off then. Next week, same time and you'd better have lost a couple of pounds by then or else!" Carson threatened.

Rodney nodded as he slipped off the table, "Yes, yes! I hear you!"

He practically ran out the door and just missed running into Major Lorne, who was walking by.

"Easy, McKay, you act like the devil is chasing you!" Lorne said as he avoided Rodney.

"No, it's just his disciple that's after me!" McKay snapped back.

"What?" Lorne asked.

"Never mind. I need food... can't think straight if I'm hungry."

"Ok, I'll see yah later," Lorne smiled then turned at the next intersection and left Rodney, who headed for the mess.

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When he got there, he found that it was a special day since the Daedalus had come in with supplies and two of the things they brought were bacon and flour.

He piled his plate with pancakes, butter, syrup and heaped on six pieces of bacon as well.

He knew the food wouldn't last long once the Marines and the rest of Atlantis found out about it. Looking over the rest of the items offered, he picked up two blueberry muffins as well. Two cups of coffee filled the tray and then he happily went over to an empty table where he could eat in peace.

After carefully removing the items from the tray and placing them on the table, he pushed the tray away. The smell of bacon and the pancakes were making his mouth water. Before he could even pick up his fork, Sheppard suddenly appeared and sat down across from him, followed by Ronon who sat next to Sheppard.

John put his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands.

"McKay, you gonna eat all that?" he looked repulsed by the food.

Rodney looked at him angrily, "Yes... I am! It's a once a month treat and I intend to enjoy it before all the hungry hordes arrive and devour it all!"

"Didn't you just have a physical?" John asked raising his eyebrows.

Before Rodney could answer, a hand suddenly reached over Rodney's head and removed the plate before him, then quickly handed it over to Ronon who grabbed it along with the silverware.

Ronon smiled, but said nothing. John on the other hand smirked.

"What! Give that back! ..." Rodney started to sputter, but before he could move, a hand held him by the shoulder and a plate of fresh fruit and yogurt was placed before him. He still couldn't see who had dared to take away his prize meal. The muffins went next and John scooped them up happily.

A bowl of cereal and a carton of milk replaced the muffins before McKay.

Rodney was beyond angry, he turned around ready to blast whoever was behind him and was stopped short by Teyla's beautiful smile. She looked pleased with herself, "Good morning, Rodney. She looked down at him, waiting to see if he would dare say anything to her.

Rodney cringed instead, he was afraid of Teyla and knew what she could do to him if she were angry.

Turning away, he whined, "This is so unfair... really unfair," as he watched Ronon happily devouring the pancakes along with the bacon.

When John ate the second muffin, licking his fingers after he finished it, the physicist looked as if he were about to cry.

Rodney looked unhappily at the fruit plate and yogurt before him. Right now he hated all of his team.

John started talking first, "So, how was the physical?"

Rodney, feeling betrayed, looked at him, "Carson told you!"

"Of course he did, I'm your team leader and your welfare is my concern." John replied smugly.

"You already know then," Rodney snapped back.

John leaned back in the chair, trying to be diplomatic about what he was about to say, knowing how much food meant to the man before him. It was one of the few things the scientist really enjoyed and taking it away from him was like being mean to a puppy.

"Rodney, you know that being overweight is bad for you and so is eating all this stuff. You need to exercise, then you might be able to eat some of this occasionally. We're all worried about you, that's all. We don't want you to get sick."

Rodney continued to sulk, looking down at his hands, hearing what John said, but hating it just the same. Food was very important to him and he'd always been able to eat whatever he wanted as weight had never been a problem. The last few years had brought on so much stress that he found himself spending more time working and eating, with little sleep and the only exercise was when he went off world. It had caught up to him quickly adding extra pounds where he didn't need them.

John could see that Rodney was unhappy, but no matter what, he was determined to help his friend. "We're all your friends here as well as a team so we've decided to help you. "

Rodney slowly looked up, knowing they ALL meant well, but he still was hurt by what they were doing.

"Teyla has offered to teach you to fight with sticks." John said happily as Teyla sat down next to him and smiled at him.

Rodney gave her a slight smile knowing she could beat the crap out of him with those sticks. No matter how gentle she was, learning with her was bound to hurt.

John continued, "Ronon has offered to take you jogging with him."

Again McKay envisioned himself gasping for air after only a short distance and having leg cramps later on caused by abused tendons and muscles.

John finished with, "And I of course will teach you shooting while on the move."

Rodney knew that meant rolling on the ground while shooting, as well as dodging and falling to avoid being a target. He would be black and blue all over afterwards.

John now had a curious smile on his face, "So what's it to be, McKay? Tapping with Teyla, Running with Ronon, or shooting with Sheppard?"

Rodney dropped his chin down, he hated this, but knew there was no way out if he wanted to remain on the team.

Each of his teammates now had identical smiles on their faces, waiting to see which one he'd choose.

_I'm doomed_, _no matter who I choose_...

Suddenly, another voice spoke up behind him, "How about walking with Weir?"

Elizabeth's voice rang out clearly, she had overheard their conversation with McKay and had imediately walked over.

"Oh thank God! " Rodney said after realizing what she'd said, his face then changed from fear to relief, as if he had been spared a fate worse than death.

John and the others looked up, surprised, "Elizabeth?" John asked.

"Rodney and I have a meeting scheduled today and I told Carson, we could do it while walking two miles around Atlantis. Carson thought it was a great idea."

She smirked, knowing that although John and the team meant well, too much strenuous exercise would not be good for the out of shape scientist and she didn't want to see him hurt. She could be very protective of Rodney when necessary.

"So, Rodney, ready to go?" She asked sweetly.

Rodney didn't even pause, "Of course, I'll just grab a power bar and a cup of coffee to go."

"Of Course you will, and get me one as well, "She said as he left.

" I'll see you all later," she said to John and his team, then she left to follow Rodney.

John sighed, he was disappointed at having lost his entertainment for the day, but... _at least Rodney will get some exercise. _

_And besides, tomorrow 's another day..._

The End For Now


	2. Chapter 2

**Fatman & Ronon **- The Watch Stander

The Adventures Begin

I think we all need a laugh, so I've decided to make this a series of stories about our favorite scientist. Some will be shorter than others.

I give credit for this story idea to TW. He has a really twisted sense of humor!

Many Thanks to all who read the first part and also to Scarbantia, Batman'sBeauty, Musik-luvr, deuchtine, and TwighlightG for their kind reviews.

If you guys like this there will be more to follow! Let me know...

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Rodney jogged along happily behind Ronon, thinking how this really wasn't as bad as he'd thought it would be. He shuffled his feet in a slow plodding run, a very slow run, one that was driving Ronon crazy.

The Satedan finally turned around and started running backwards, trying to stay as slow as his annoying teammate's pace was.

"McKay let's get a little more speed, or remember... no food!" Ronon grinned as Rodney looked at him with surprise written on his face.

"What! I have to eat, you know that!" He whined at the large grinning man running before him.

"Not until you have jogged the two miles, Sheppard's orders. I'll go once around and come back for you, so you'd better up the pace!"

Rodney scowled at the warrior, then muttered under his breath, "I hate this! I am so gonna kill Sheppard."

His legs were not going to be happy if he had to actually run. He would pay later when his legs would be stiff and sore.

The Satedan turned, then took off running down the corridor. As soon as the man was out of sight, McKay reached into his pocket and pulled out a milky way bar. It was his last one and he'd been saving it, since the Daedalus wasn't due back for another week.

He slowed his pace even more as he unwrapped the prize. It made his mouth water knowing what he was about to eat and his stomach growled in anticipation of the treat.

Before he had even taken one bite, a hand came out of nowhere and snatched it away. The hand's owner ran by him, holding the milky way high above his head as if it were a torch.

"If you want it, you'd better run and catch me," Ronon's voice drifted back.

Now upset, Rodney started to actually run after him, whining all the way down the hall, "Wait, I'm running! Don't eat it...it's my last one... Wait, Ronooooon...

Till the Next One

:-)


	3. Chapter 3

**Fatman & Ronon** - **The Watch Stander**

Rating: silly and painful humor

**The Karate McKay**

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Rodney kept his hand swirling in circles as he washed the inside of the large picture window in Sheppard's quarters. His arm muscles hurt, his eyes were crossing from boredom as he kept seeing spots appearing on the window before him. He could have sworn that he had just cleaned that area two minutes ago, but still the black spots kept appearing before his eyes.

Finally, exasperated he dropped his hand and glared unhappily at the spots.

Sheppard, who was lying stretched out on his bed reading a magazine, noticed the work stoppage, "Come on, McKay, washy-on, washy-off, just like in the Karate Kid movie. You know that's the only way your flabby little arms are going to develop muscles."

Rodney turned his glare from the window to Sheppard, "I hate you and that stupid movie! This is such a waste of my valuable time!"

Shepard tried not to sound self-righteous, "Well . . . if you hadn't cheated on the obstacle course, you wouldn't have to do this. Your muscles would already have had a nice work out!"

"I passed that test, if you remember . . . this is so unfair!"

"You cheated and you know it! No one has ever made that kind of time before, not even Ronon. Unless you have developed more super powers, I know you couldn't possibly have done it in that amount of time!"

"You weren't there!" Rodney replied indignantly.

"McKay, you'd better hurry and finish or I'll have Ronon hold you over the balcony edge by your ankles, so you can wash the outside as well."

"What!" Rodney's eyes widened, "You wouldn't!" he squeaked.

John smiled slyly, "Yes I would."

"I'll tell Elizabeth!"

"Go ahead, she's the one that asked me to have you wash her windows next!"

Rodney just stood there stunned, then turned and started washing again, stricken that even Elizabeth was part of this plan of Sheppard's.

"This is so unfair . . . " he moaned to himself.

John looked on smugly, then decided it was time for lunch. Normally he would ask Rodney to go as well, but knew that the scientist would take it the wrong way and think he was done for the day. It would be better to leave him here working, knowing that somehow McKay would sneak out for food and take a rest, while he was gone.

"I'm going for lunch, those windows better be done by the time I get back or I'll have Ronon stop by."

Rodney ignored him and continued to wash the glass before him, still seeing the spots.

* * *

John sat with Teyla and Ronon and soon they were all laughing about what John had used as an incentive to get Rodney to work faster.

"I'd be glad to hold him over the railing, "Ronon offered smiling.

"I know you would, big guy, but I don't want him to get hurt. You might drop him and Elizabeth would kill me!"

Teyla shook her head, she knew how terrified Rodney would be and also knew that John would never do that to his friend. She listened to the two men laughing about what they were going to have Rodney do next and finally excused herself.

"I will see you all for dinner and that includes Rodney. He must eat as well, so till then."

John also left a few minutes later, having managed to kill two hours sitting here. It was enough time for McKay to have snuck away and had something to eat and a short break as well.

When he went back down the hall that lead to his quarters, John was surprised to find the scientist now in the hallway, starring at the large windows there, his hand by his side holding a cleaning cloth.

To John's surprise the hall windows were sparkling in the sunshine and Rodney was just standing there smiling and staring at them.

Sheppard walked over and noticed McKay was also sweating profusely and his eyes seemed distant and glassy.

"McKay? " John asked suddenly concerned. "What's going on?"

"Shiny and bright! I've made them all shiny and bright!" Rodney said in awe, as he slowly turned toward Sheppard.

The scientist's legs suddenly buckled and he slowly crumbled into a pile.

"Rodney!" John was so surprised, he only managed to grab one of his friend's arms, unable to stop his fall.

Rodney now was sitting on the floor, trembling and looking up at John, confusion in his eyes.

"Did you eat something?" Sheppard asked, suspecting his friend might be having a hypoglycemia attack.

McKay's eyes were glassy and unfocused as he answered, "No, had to finish . . . or Ronon would hang me upside down . . . hate heights, so I just kept washing . . . all the windows . . . washy-on washy-off, just like you said."

John quickly radioed Carson.

* * *

In the infirmary, Carson walked over to his office, where Sheppard was standing, The Doctor could tell that the Colonel felt terrible about what had happened.

Carson was not happy, but he knew that reprimanding Sheppard right now would not help.

"Rodney is dehydrated and his glucose levels are out of whack caused by lack of water, food and overexertion," he said simply to the man before him

"Is he going to be all right?"

"Aye, he'll be better tomorrow, but no more exercise for at least a week. He's showing signs of heat exhaustion as well."

John looked sheepish, "I didn't realize he'd take what I said about finishing so seriously. Tell him I'm sorry when he wakes up?"

"I will, it's best he rests now . . . so you can see him tomorrow."

John nodded and after taking one last guilty look at the sleeping scientist, quickly left.

Carson waited till he was gone then turned around and walked over to his patient, who was lying on one of the infirmary beds.

"You can open yours eyes now, Rodney."

One blue eye opened followed by a whispered, "Is he gone?"

"Aye . . . whatever possessed you to work yourself that way until you passed out?"

"You don't know what he said he was going to do to me if I didn't finish those windows."

"Are you daft? You might have had a serious seizure. Just lucky for you it was dehydration and not hypoglycemia that made you faint, although both are dangerous." Carson was really getting worked up, both annoyed and afraid for his friend and what might have happened.

Rodney looked imploringly at Carson, a hurt expression on his face, "He threatened to hang me upside down to wash the outside of the windows. I could have been dropped on my head from thirty feet!"

Carson was horrified, "That's it! I'm having a word with Elizabeth about this program of exercise the Colonel has planned. There'll be no dropping you on your head, or so help me there'll be hell to pay!"

Carson stormed off and Rodney sighed in relief,

_Wait till Carson and Elizabeth get a hold of Sheppard_,

That thought made him smile as he happily snuggled into the pillows, safe and warm in the infirmary, with no more windows to wash . . .

Fin

More stories to follow! Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Fatman & Ronon**

**Chapter Four ****- Obstacles and Teamwork**

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The line at the mess seemed to take forever as Rodney anxiously fidgeted behind Ronon, who was ahead of him in the line. The scientist kept trying to see around his larger teammate to find out what was still available on the table, where the breakfast pastries were kept. Ronon however, was aware of this and kept blocking McKay's view.

"Listen, mad Mountain dean, some of us are in a hurry and I'd like to get breakfast sometime today!" Rodney finally snapped at Ronon.

Ronon smiled to himself and ignored McKay as he picked up a plate and piled six blueberry muffins on it. Then moved ahead to search for other food items.

McKay couldn't believe it, there were only two muffins left, so he quickly scoffed them up.

As soon as he had placed the last muffin on his plate, he heard the person beside him make a rude comment about him.

"Little shit, just wait till I have you in my sights."

Angry at what he'd heard, Rodney quickly turned around and came face to chest with one of the Marines, a very large Marine. The man outweighed him by a good fifty pounds and was all muscle.

The scientist was about to make an angry retort, but the Marine suddenly backed away from him, a look of fear on his face.

Surprised, Rodney smirked, _Just another school yard bully . . . _

The Marine got out of line and quickly walked past McKay. Rodney watched him leave, proud that he'd been brave enough to stand up to the Marine and had won.

He turned around and ran right into Ronon, who was standing behind him and looking down at him.

It didn't take a genius to figure out why the Marine had left.

Rodney sighed and waited for his team mate to turn around and continue down the line_._

_I never get any respect . . . _

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Two cups of coffee and three muffins later( Ronon had given him one of his); Rodney was on his way with Ronon to the jumper bay, where Sheppard was waiting to take them over to the mainland in a jumper.

Today was the annual PT test and obstacle course for the Marines and Sheppard wanted McKay to get there early for his chance at going through it alone. John thought it would be easier for the scientist if there wasn't a mess of Marines around making fun of him as he tried to go through the course.

Ronon had offered to watch McKay to make sure that he went through the course and not around it.

As Rodney exited the jumper, he looked at the long field of obstacles that he was suppose to go through. Every one of them looked like a torture device to him. The course itself was surrounded by high walls and at the end was a wall that the participants were supposed to climb to get out.

_Oh God, I'm gonna fail . . . _

The problem was that if he didn't pass this test, not only would he be grounded, but he'd have to earn extra points by jogging and working out with Ronon and Sheppard. As it was, he had already pulled a back muscle and yesterday he had twisted his ankle while stick fighting with Ronon. Somehow he had to get through this.

Sheppard came down the jumper ramp behind him and clapped his hand on Rodney's shoulder. He could see his friend was nervous, but he hoped that at least he made it part way through it in the hour and twenty minutes that was allotted.

"It just looks intimidating, McKay. You'll be fine. Just do your best and Ronon here will make sure that you don't hurt yourself."

Ronon grinned at him and that really creeped Rodney out.

"Right, and just to let you know, my will is in the top drawer of my bureau."

"McKay! ... Let's not start with the negative thoughts, just do your best."

"Easy for you to say! I don't see you going through it!" Rodney snarked back at him.

"No, the Air force doesn't require pilots to do this. I just have to pass my PT test one a year and I'm good to go."

Rodney glared at him, "I hate you!"

John eyebrows rose as he smirked, "Now, now, don't say things you'll regret later."

Just then two Marines carrying P-90's came up to meet them. Rodney instantly recognized one of them as the Marine from this morning's mess line.

He gave Rodney an evil smile as he patted his hand against the P-90 he held.

McKay knew it was full of rubber bullets, but they hurt and he really didn't want this goon hitting him with dozens of rounds from the gun.

John nodded to the Marines and looked at McKay having missed the interplay between the two men, "Once you enter the woods after the obstacle course, Johnson and Miller here will give you a head start before they follow you. Just remember, they're the Wraith and they're trying to capture you, so be quick. They're only going to shoot around you so that you move faster. The guns are loaded with rubber bullets, nothing that will hurt you just in case you get hit with a stray."

Ronon looked at the two Marines, he hadn't missed the nasty look the soldier had given McKay earlier and knew the Marine intended on hitting his target at every opportunity. If it went too far, Ronon knew he would have to step in. No one was going to hurt his teammate if he could help it.

Rodney's shoulders seemed to sag and now his foot started to ache as well.

_Why had he agreed to do this?_

Sheppard gave everyone a happy grin, "I'll set my watch for five minutes from now for you to begin. Good luck!"

Rodney just looked down at his feet, "I'm so dead . . . "

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The two Marines left to station themselves at the beginning of the wooded area. Ronon had told them to leave as he didn't want McKay to be made fun of as he went through the course.

He also saw the sad look on Rodney's face and actually felt sorry for the little guy.

"McKay, don't worry. You can do this, you're smart, you'll find a way . . . "

Ronon wasn't big on pep talks, but he felt the need to at least say something to his teammate to cheer him up.

"Right, I'll just think my way through it," Rodney's blue eyes betrayed how he felt. Failure was written in them.

Sighing heavily, he headed toward the beginning of the course, determined to get this over with.

The fact that McKay was showing a slight limp as he walked wasn't lost on the Satedan. He remembered causing that injury yesterday and felt bad that it had happened. Truthfully, McKay shouldn't be taking this test, but he had insisted ,so it wasn't Ronon's call to stop him.

Rodney looked at the first obstacle, it was a double line of rubber tires that you were suppose to go through with a foot landing inside each tire as you ran through the line of them. His ankle would never put up with that abuse.

_Where the hell had they got tires in the Pegasus Galaxy? Ah, the Daedalus must have brought them as replacements for the Malp tires._

Suddenly, he had a thought and his blue eyes widened_, Think his way through it, Yes!_

Ronon watched as Rodney literally walked on the tops of the tires to the end of the row. He smiled as he realized that McKay had gone through the obstacle, just not in the way it was intended he should.

Chuckling now he walked along the edge of the course watching his teammate out think each obstacle one at a time.

The water crossing obstacle was easy as McKay was able to swing over the water on a rope. However, he almost fell backwards into the water, barely catching himself at the last second as he let go of the rope.

The rope climb, a large net of tied ropes that one was suppose to climb up and over, was a no brainer for Rodney as he just lifted the bottom up and walked underneath it.

Ronon shook his head, this was gonna take some fancy talking to explain to Sheppard. He would do it though. McKay deserved his loyalty.

The tower obstacle was tricky in that he had to climb a ladder up to its platform, then hold onto a pulley that was on a rope stretched across to another tower. The angle of the line would allow gravity to pull him across the fifty feet of line to the other tower.

Rodney hated heights, but he knew he could do this one and gamely climbed the ladder. Reaching the platform, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and stepped off while holding the bar on the pulley, allowing himself to glide across the rope to the other side.

Ronon watched from below, ready to catch him if he showed signs of falling, but was surprised when the scientist made it across ok.

The next was a long tube of corrugated aluminum, obviously Rodney was supposed to crawl through it.

_My knees will never stand for that!_

So, he did the next best thing, he walked across the top, using his outstretched arms to balance him like a tightrope walker on a rope.

After that Rodney came to a wooden wall that was suppose to be climbed, but he was able to wiggle under it, as there was a space left there by the builders. He got dirty by going under it, but at least this way it looked like he really did all of the obstacles.

Ronon was still chuckling when Rodney finally came to the end, the dreaded wall.

Looking at it, McKay stopped and tried to assess his best option for getting up to the top where the dirt was mounded against it, forming a hill on the other side. The seven-foot wall spanned the entire width of the course, abutting the walls that surrounded the area. There would be no going around this.

Ronon suddenly ran toward it and easily sprang up, getting his arms resting on the top of the wall and pushing himself up. He quickly stood up and then waited for McKay to follow.

Rodney's face fell. There was no way he could jump that high, never mind that his ankle would give out. It was throbbing now just from going through the course the way he had with very little strain placed on it.

He shook his head in defeat, "I can't . . . "

Ronon looked down at him, "Give it a try McKay, don't be a quitter!"

Rodney's face reddened at the remark, embarrassed by it. He took a deep breath and ran toward the wall the way Ronon had, leaping up at the last second.

He knew he wasn't high enough, but suddenly his arms were grabbed by Ronon and he felt himself lifted up.

The large man pulled him easily up and over the top to stand before him. Ronon smiled at him.

Rodney let out a shaky breath, "Thanks," was all he could manage to say, surprised by what had just happened.

"Anytime. I'm always willing to give a hand when necessary."

Ronon turned around and headed toward the wooded area. He knew the Marines hadn't seen them as they were too busy talking to each other; both of their backs were facing him.

_Probably convinced the scientist would never get through the course._

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The two Marines were surprised to see the scientist appear before them. He was dirty and had mud caked on his pants, but he was there and in what had seemed a short amount of time.

Annoyed, Johnson shook his head, but went ahead and set the timer on his watch.

"You have a five minute head start, get going!" He had no intention of cutting the acerbic scientist any slack, even if McKay was Sheppard's pal.

The smile on the two Marines' faces wasn't lost on Rodney as he turned away and tried to jog into the woods. This was about to get nasty. He knew he would be coming out of this with a lot of black and blue marks left by the high-powered guns shooting rubber bullets in his direction. Sheppard would chew their asses out, if he told Sheppard, but the damage would already be done and he would be in a world of hurt.

_This just sucked! He was so going to kill Sheppard._

Ronon stayed just behind McKay, hoping to prevent the scientist from being injured by the two Marines. He knew what they had planned, but wasn't sure just what leeway he had in stopping it. He could call Sheppard, but maybe it was best to wait till something actually happened.

Rodney was doing his best to jog along, but his twisted ankle was really sore so he was forced to slow down. Up ahead was a sign that signaled a turn in the path. He stopped and looked at it, a sudden thought crossed his mind and he walked over to it. Pulling it out of the ground he turned it to point left not right and then quickly hid behind a very large tree that he knew would protect him from sight.

Ronon did the same thing behind another tree as he could hear the Marine's heavy footfalls coming down the trail. They obviously weren't into stealth. When the two Marines reached the sign, they made a fast turn heading down the trail to nowhere, oblivious to the change in the sign's direction.

McKay waited till they were long gone, then came out from his hiding place, and arranged the sign back to the way it had been.

Ronon shook his head, a smile on his face.

"Good one, McKay!"

Rodney pointed to his head and smiled smugly, "Genius at work!"

The two men then went down the trail at a very slow jog, Rodney was determined to finish this.

88888888888888888

John was waiting at the end of the three-mile trail. He was leaning against a tree in a very relaxed fashion, wondering how Rodney was doing. An hour had already past. McKay would never make it, but at least he'd given it his best shot. That had to count for something. John decided to give McKay a break and shave off a few of the points that were needed for him to be declared physically fit and able to be on John's team. It would mean less time training with him and Ronon. It was the least he could do for his friend.

He suddenly heard the sound of running steps coming down the trail toward him and figured it was Ronon, but was very surprised when he saw McKay jogging beside him. The scientist was dirty and had mud smudges on his face. He also had a slight limp, but seemed ok otherwise.

John found himself grinning at Rodney as the man came down the trail toward him. He was actually proud of the snarky little guy. He'd made it!

When he glanced at his watch, he was shocked to see that there was ten minutes to spare. McKay had not only finished, but had done it in record time to boot!

"Hey, McKay, you beat the clock!"

Rodney came to a stop before him. The scientist tried to catch his breath and slow his pounding heart down.

"Well genius, you know. I'm just full of surprises . . . ," he replied smugly.

John looked at Ronon, suspecting something wasn't quite right. "He did go through the entire course? No skipping obstacles?"

Ronon looked at him," He went the whole course, over, under, around and through every obstacle."

John knew something wasn't being said, but didn't want to call Ronon on it.

"You didn't help him did you?"

Ronon smiled," No, but I did give a hand at the end," he slowly clapped his hands together in a show of applause.

Rodney looked at Ronon with a conspiring smirk. He'd be sure to give both of his desserts to the Satedan at dinner for he owed him big time.

John shook his head, then suddenly looked around puzzled, "By the way, . . . where's the Marines I had following you?"

Rodney tried to look innocent as he shrugged and Ronon did the same.

John immediately tapped his radio earpiece, " Johnson, where are you guys?"

Ronon clapped Rodney on the back and the two men turned and headed back to the jumper, more than ready to go back to Atlantis.

Sheppard walked behind them talking on his radio, his voice loud enough for even them to hear.

"You're what? ... Did I hear you right? ... Lost? ... How did you get lost?"

Fin

For now . . .

.


End file.
